There are two primary things that must be subverted to change society:
1) Masculine men as Fathers
1)The Church
The method is simple and is outlined in the book of Genesis in the Bible. The means is via women.
The basic plan is to convince women that they have the knowledge of good and evil so that men will listen to women and abide by what women dictate. Thus women should assume a greater role in matters of morality within the church and within a marriage and the outcome will be similar to that of Genesis.
Sure, a woman can choose to maintain the mystery, if she wants, but then she will forever remain…
UNKNOWN
The advice to “maintain the mystery” in a relationship, especially so it keeps sex exciting, only serves to encourage each to withhold important parts of themselves. The fear of rejection is so strong that most people believe that if the other REALLY knew them, it would result in rejection and abandonment. (Note these are primarily female fears). So the hamster rationalizes this and advises everyone to “Maintain the Mystery.”
The same woman wants a man to be open and honest, but when he is, it is often used against him, time after time and forever. So to avoid criticism and belittlement he learns to keep things private, which then causes her to accuse him of all sorts of things since the two are quite distant and her imagination runs wild. It is also self preservation if she keeps him on the defensive so he will not stop to consider her faults.
So choose honesty and to be known, or be prepared for the dance of deceit. This works well if a man leads the way and if it does not go well, he can determine that he should cut his losses and find a better woman. A femDOM relationship is where she withholds and he reveals. She determines right and wrong and the relationship revolves around her feelings (which are cyclical).
Remember a woman’s cycle is similar to the lunar cycle and the moon revolves around the earth. Both revolve around the Sun. In this simple analogy Sun=God, Earth=Man, Moon=Woman, Gravity=Love.
So whether you choose to be known or to maintain the mystery, make your map of the Terrestrial System (marriage) reflect reality as it is and not as you think it “should be.” After all this is the way God designed the Solar System (His creation) to function.
Her unconscious motivation for saying maintain the mystery the fear that she would not be loved if she were known. So although this is a great desire within her, she is insecure about revealng herself and so latches onto the common tripe advice to assauge her hamster and delude herself into thinking maintaining the msytery will work. In reality, by attempting to avoid insecurity, she creates more insecurity because she cannot be loved as a woman that is known.
It is impossible to maintain mystery and be known at the same time. A woman wants to be known and advising that she maintain the mystery is counter to her greatest desire, which seems to be the result of much advice offered to women by women. Maintaining mystery requires witholding of part of herself, which results in not being fully known. This in turn will only result in false love for a projected false self. If she wants to be known, she has to surrender, trust and submit to her man.
Adam remained silent while woman erred. The regular readers of this blog know CL and I have been occasionally critiquing Sheila Gregoire’s latest series, 29 Days to Great Sex, at her blog To Love Honor & Vacuum. Sheila has a public “ministry” purported to help women. I see similarities between Sheila’s behavior and that of Eve, as described in Genesis 3.
It seems Sheila has eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil while obtaining her indoctrination in Women’s Studies. (I have no such degree, but I have studied women.)
Should I be a “nice guy” and listen to the woman, regardless of how misguided her notions? That is what Adam did and that is what many men have done over the last 100 years. Look at the fruits of that; the fall from grace and the demise of the family, respectively.
Sheila, I will not be like Adam, therefore I will write a post about how you are behaving like Eve in seeking to control. Do you not see how the story of Genesis 3 is being re-enacted on a massive scale in our world? You cannot change my intention to do a follow-up post at the conclusion of your series, but you can mitigate it if you discuss submission and male headship according to Ephesians 5.
As I man, I am giving her fair warning of my intentions. She can choose to stop preaching the Gospel of Sheila, or submit to the leadership of her husband and let him defend her, or seek resolution. I simply will not remain silent while Sheila continues to mislead others with a teaching on marriage that is counter-productive. Even Sheila knows it is not working:
Day 19:
I’ve been receiving a lot of comments and emails about this 29 Days to Great Sex series, and most of them are wonderful. But some of them are very discouraging, because sex has become such a difficult part of so many couple’s lives. It’s become twisted, or dirty, or shameful, or simply non-existent. And I read these emails, and I think: why are we letting something that God made to be beautiful become a negative thing in our lives? Why are we settling for that? [Sheila's emphasis]
It seems that the “something” that women are “letting” be “negative” is the man. Why should any woman settle for that? I am not surprised that Sheila’s advice is not working since her order of the marriage is backwards. This causes both men and women a nagging feeling in the depths of their hearts that something is still amiss. Marriages do not generally improve unless lived according to God’s plan.
Is there any reason why I should be silent about this? A house cannot stand with a weak foundation and that foundation is God’s roles for men and women. Days and days of words. Not a peep on the roles of a man and woman in marriage. Nothing about male headship. But every day the subtle (and often blatant) advice on how a woman should control things is present.
Day21:
Remember the guidelines we wrote out yesterday, though: no one should ever be pressured to do something they’re uncomfortable with or feel is sinful. [Sheila's emphasis]
No Sheila, what is sinful is determined based on principles not feelings. Feelings can be used to justify anything whether good or bad. This is the way Christian women justify whatever they feel as being holy and whatever they feel uncomfortable as sinful. This method is used in both sexual and non-sexual matters.
It seems that this whole thing is about Sheila making money. She is touting her book on Day 25: The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. Zondervan is the publisher and is making a series of YouTube videos to promote the book. Therefore Zondervan is promoting femDOM Christianity. And also since Sheila speaks at FamilyLife events, it appears that organization has embraced the feminist marriage heresy. This is the female-centered marriage where a beta male serves his wife and takes all blame for any problems and all responsibility for improvement. Of course, this leaves her with the options to determine later that her husband was the problem and for God to tell her He understands her unhappiness and agrees that she can either continue the marriage or divorce and receive prizes, as is frequently discussed in the manosphere. Dalrock writes humorously about how women should do this the right way in his post Stanton’s Heroes.
In a woman-controlled marriage, it seems the sex life is quite infrequent and uninspiring. When the order of marriage is reinvented, it is doubtful that it is still according to God’s design. Significant parts of the Epistles written by St. Paul are ignored. So much for Bible believing Christians getting things right! Is it any wonder that masculine confident, benevolent, dominant men are rarely found in the churches these days?
Organizations embracing Sheila’s feel good message should take a careful review to determine if it is still Christian.
There are many men looking for a “Good Christian Wife” but if she does not believe in God’s design for how a marriage is ordered, she does not meet the proper definition of ANY of those words.
Here is the future for those that buy Sheila’s book:
CL
7man
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