The Outsider’s Perspective

Susan Walsh talks about “Mean Girls, Mean Women” and says that:

As we age, we remain ever vigilant, desperately wanting to avoid being “that woman” – the outsider.

But what happens when we are, indeed, “that woman”, no matter how much we may have tried to be included? One could become bitter, or one could find that it’s actually not a bad vantage point and that when one is not involved in all the machinations of the group and vying for positions within it, one can observe and learn.

I won’t lie and say I haven’t at times felt the sting and bitterness of being excluded, but at the stage of my life I’m at now, I’m quite happy not to have the need for the approval of a group of clucking hens or a place in the hive of a Queen Bee, for this is what it all looks like from my perspective.

The energy used in maintaining a place in this kind of social environment is energy I would sooner spend on other pursuits, frankly. I already know how tenuous one’s position is there and as a person who is more interested in truth and efficiency than ass-kissing, placating and commiseration, my place is always particularly tenuous with women. So I consider it a waste of time and energy which, as an introvert anyway, I don’t have much of to spare for mindless socialising.

Outsiders don’t tend to congregate and so tend to feel rather alone, labelling themselves as oddballs and loners. Female loners seem to be somewhat rare compared to the number of male loners. The thing with being a loner or an outsider is that it leaves one free to explore one’s own interests rather than following a herd or having to temper certain things for the sake of “getting along”. This may sound uncompromising but to see it that way misses the point. I suppose this could also be seen as a “defense mechanism” but no matter; I have often found books to be better company than people – after all, in books we can gain the company of some of the most interesting, intelligent and insightful people who ever lived.

 

Once one realises that there is more to life than being accepted by a gaggle of women, it becomes less “what’s wrong with me” and more self-reliance. It also makes truth seeking and telling easier in some regards because one already knows what it’s like to be ostracised and excluded, so the worst that happens is one finds out who one’s friends are, and if it turns out there is none, so be it.

An intelligent outsider is much more aware of how fickle people are and that the eyes of the world are worthless and thus not worth seeking. This is a fancy way of saying she is not an attention whore, because she is not aiming to be liked but to discover and tell the truth. This is how a person might become principled and how the fire of rejection can forge a more resilient temperament.

The idea that other women “desperately want to avoid” being me is rather insulting, as I find them mostly insufferably shallow and dull, and the ones who fancy themselves intellectuals are the worst of all. It’s also a bit pathetic, as though being the outsider is the worst fate that could befall a woman. They don’t even know when they’re being insulting, which doesn’t say much for their ability to reflect in any meaningful way nor their ability to feel empathy for those they don’t care about. Am I being insulting by saying this? It seems that Susan Walsh would agree with me, judging by her article.

A Good Man Seeks a Dignified Woman

I think the vast vast majority of women do not understand the capacity of men to love an exceptional woman, his ability to be inspired (without nagging) and his capability to do whatever it takes. The recent Sheila Gregoire discussions at Dalrock reveal the deep desire of men to find such a woman (for those that can see what is beneath surface).

The majority of women do not realize that men willingly will do much more for them if she does not demand it or endeavor to control him. Here are two songs for the women to contemplate. If women are waiting for a perfect man, get cats instead.

Men are increasingly becoming aware that “Christian” women are no less feminist and little different than other women. (If you bristle at this statement, you don’t understand.) No woman is entitled to a good man, but she can find one and inspire this but not from the TOP position. Equality and contentment can only be found within a hierarchy.

A dignified woman,
She came to me.
She bought out by lovers
And their rogue jewelry.

Haunted by nature
Worn by their furs,
She knew my longing
Was no different from hers.

And nothing else matters
Runaway from love,
And look for a rainbow
There’s never enough.

A dignified woman
Lives with her pain,
She bought me a ticket,
For a runaway train.

And I’ve been a-ramblin’
Living alone,
A dignified woman
Is locked in her home.

And nothing else matters
Runaway from love,
And look for a rainbow
There’s never enough
For a dignified woman.

Can a Man be Holy if he is not Dominant?