Slut Shaming

I originally wrote and published this at The Spearhead (nauseating picture warning) on October 2nd, 2010. Update to follow.

I’ve seen a lot of feminist musings on removing the shame from the word slut, and lamenting the “double standard” that it implies. I think they have it, as usual, perfectly wrong. Once you remove the feeling of shame from “slutdom,” you’re ruined. The fact that some feminists are trying to reclaim and defang the word “slut” shows that there is still at least some shame attached to it. I think it should have more than it does, because this is the root of the problem with the disintegration of the family and the way we are, as a society, slipping into a Sodom and Gomorrah kind of world where anything goes. Oh, I’m sorry, did I use the Bible as a “guilt trip”? OK, let me rephrase for the literarily challenged: Living like apes in the trees is not good for the human spirit, for human creativity, for a higher minded life.

The notion that shame is a bad thing in and of itself is what drives this impulse; certain words have been branded as “negative,” and therefore, “bad,” as if everything negative is bad. Electricity only works with a positive and negative charge. This can be used as a metaphor without descending into false logic – we cannot separate ourselves from the natural world or rewrite nature. Although not overtly the topic of this article (via Dr Helen) on having or not having children, I couldn’t help honing in on this paragraph:

Sad, but in all likelihood, they will end up just like their parents: single mothers with too many children, forced to work two minimum wage jobs and still unable to make ends meet, or, worse, like their irresponsible, absentee fathers.

The author probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it, but this is obvious feminist language when you’re attuned to it. It’s an attempt to reverse the so-called double standard and shame the males in the equation while painting the females as innocent, passive victims. A 14-year-old unwed pregnant girl used to be called a slut. Calling her something else doesn’t change what she is. Taking the shame off her only gives her permission to ruin her life by being a slut – it’s not the baby that ruined her life, it was her own actions, her own willingness to open her legs to some horny 14-year-old boy who figured had nothing really to lose in the deal.

It is truly sickening to read feminists calling on young women to “embrace their inner slut” or whatever crass nonsense supposedly in an effort to erase the dreaded “double standard.” Sorry girls, but Nature has given us a double standard and no amount of redefining words, easy access to abortion, women’s “rights” and the like can erase the facts of biology and thousands of years of evolution. Shame is a powerful tool and all powerful tools can be misused, but just because a nail gun can be used to kill someone doesn’t mean it can’t still nail down your floorboards.

Further comments from 7man: As shown recently since the Team Woman post and the recent kerfuffle at TC, the solid men (who can be vulgar) leave and the women quickly get off track. All the feigned moral indignation about the language and the solid stands taken about dominance, leadership, submission and moral authority was pure Team Woman. This proves that “Christian” women are no more trustworthy. One could argue that many Christian women are worse, because they use their faith to justify their disobedience, being “true to themselves” and placating other women that divorce. Why should Christian women ever defend sluts and blame Roissy?

That is merely blaming men for women’s poor judgement while at the same time claiming women are more empathetic, caring and moral, when the truth is that most are not. At least a player makes no moral excuses for his pump-n-dump lifestyle – in fact, many say they would rather find one good woman but they have been so burned by Team Woman that they have given up on that and so just seek easy sex with sluts as a last resort.

If women are worth more than what’s between their legs, then women had better start acting like it and shaming the women that are shitting on the rug and making the world a shithole for everyone else. If the men stopped pumping-n-dumping, would anything change with women? If the women stopped putting out for free and were committed to their vows and their man, would anything change with men?

Yes the responsibility and blame is joint, but changing men is not the solution. Feminism has tried to do this for the past 100 years and they have largely been successful – and look at what we have now!

I have said for a long time that circumcision, criminalization of prostitution and alcohol prohibition in the US as well as the no-fault divorce and domestic violence laws were largely promoted by Christian women claiming moral superiority and trying to control men’s sexuality. These Christian women are fully on Team Woman. I would rather have a woman that is honest about herself, admits to masturbation and some porn use to make it through life than a holy Christian woman. This way I can be honest that I do the same without fear it will be used against me. Then after that a common faith can be important based on two sinners that are honest with each other.

But again the traditionalists/conservatives are too rigid on divorce when they say never. There are valid reasons for divorce, such as when one is married to a personality disordered or psychologically disturbed person. There is virtually no hope that such people will ever change and they really were incapable of making the commitment to their vows. Such is contractual fraud and thus the marriage contract was not valid. Of course this analysis must be made from a factual basis and not from a feelings basis. Where there is no possibility of emotional intimacy, there is no real possibility of a true marriage.

CL’s final thoughts: It is lazy and cretinous to argue that it is only men who should change. As I have said elsewhere, if women stop giving it away for free, men would have more incentive to be of service to a woman knowing that she is his and has not warmed the beds of a load of previous lovers. A woman who has no real notion of how disappointing this is to a man has no understanding of how men operate. You will be treated as you teach people to treat you, and if you are of loose moral character, you will not find an upstanding, strong man willing to take the risk of taking you on. Consequences, for the win.

As for sluts, any woman who is of good moral character ought to call them out, because they are ruining the market place for the rest of us. Forget “the sisterhood” and Team Woman; stop defending the behaviour of sluts.